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So I have been in a constant state of frustration, worry, negativity, sadness, loneliness (you name it) – ever since I can remember. When I was in 8th grade, I used to hide under my bed and cry there. Obviously I don’t remember the reason or I will probably find the reasons stupid now. But I am sure the same reasons upset me.
I TRY a lot to be positive nowadays because I have realized that I need to help myself and I can’t go on like this. I am not ungrateful though,but I don’t know how to fight these ugly feelings. It does affect me because I start feeling tired physically and I lose interest in life, so I just go to sleep. .
Is this what we call depression? What is it exactly and what are its roots?
Nothing major has happened with me. Maybe a few heartbreaks, but the other feelings have been there always. My home atmosphere is … pathetic. Everyone is constantly arguing. You wake up – and someone or the other is in a bad mood which spreads throughout the house. And when someone is in a bad mood, they shout – especially my mother. I once had a really bad fight with her because I was so angry at her. I don’t want to be a sulky person like her when I grow up. I’ve read that one must surround themselves with happy, positive people – where do I get those from?
How do I help myself fight these ugly feelings?