Are you finding it difficult to share with someone how you are feeling? How does talking to people help us deal with distress?
One of the best ways to deal with distress is to share what we are going through with people that we trust. Talking about problems is different from casual socializing since talking involves directly addressing the issue, while socializing serves as a distraction from the problem. While both activities are useful for feeling better, talking is much more effective since you are actively dealing with the problem rather than avoiding it.
In order for us to talk about our problems, it is extremely important to find a trustworthy person who we can confide in. Sharing our issues with people who will not respect our privacy, or use it against us, can prove harmful. In fact, almost all of us have had some kind of experience in which our confidants have betrayed us. A common reaction to this is to become distrustful of everyone around you and keeping your problems to yourself. This can prove problematic since by doing so we are denying one of our most basic human instincts; to connect with and share our stories with others. Even if we have had a bad experience, we shouldn’t assume that all future experiences will be similar. Therefore, it is important that we are able to identify someone we are comfortable sharing with. This can be your friend, sibling, parent or a mentor.
Not only should the person we confide in be someone that we trust; they should also be a good listener. This is because it is frustrating to share our problems with people who are not good listeners as they are unable to meet our listening needs. If you think your confidant needs to improve their listening skills then please refer them to the compassionate listening section.
Talking is helpful because it allows us to share how we are feeling with others and come up with solutions to our problems. Just expressing our issues can help relieve the burden on us since talking about our problems helps us to organize our thoughts and come up with solutions ourselves. It is usually better when we come up with our own solutions, rather than taking the advice of the listener, because we know ourselves and our situations best.
Sometimes we may not be able to find someone we can comfortably talk to about our problems. In such a situation it may be helpful to seek professional help from therapists. For more information please visit the understanding therapy section.
So what are you waiting for? Identify a good listener who you can trust and start talking!