A human child doesn’t grow on a tree, he is born into tender, loving care of a group of individuals that form a family. Since our birth we are given names that represent our relations with those around us. We are a daughter/son, grandchild, sibling, nephew/niece and the list goes on. During the course of life, we foster many new transient or permanent relationships; spouses,partners, in-laws, friends, colleagues, neighbors, teachers, mentors etc. All these relationships have a long-lasting impact on our life.
Relationships can be healthy or toxic. People around us can be self-centered, narcissistic, abusive, cynical, unfaithful etc. or they can be nurturing, caring, loving, compassionate and more. We cannot change the people but what we can choose is that how much we value our relationships. Are we willing to put in sincere efforts for strengthening and further promoting healthy relationships? Are we brave enough to move away from unhealthy relations? These interactions whether positive or negative, with people around us, form our emotional bank. As we make monetary withdrawals from banks, we can draw wisdom, support & guidance from this emotional bank in our time of need. Therefore, we should work to enrich our relationships to develop better emotional banks. We should be actively involved in forming constructive, mutually beneficial positive relationships.
I have a symbiotic relationship with my colleagues at workplace. We all pour our hearts out to each other over a cup of coffee every morning, discussing all things ranging from politics to dramas to our personal dilemmas, family feuds or innermost fears & worries. What makes this trio (me & my two lovely friends) special is that we all belong to different generations; ranging from one being a grandmother to another having little babies……yet we bond. The key is that we are totally non-judgmental and brutally honest with each other. We offload our worries and get back to our lives with a fresh outlook every day. This morning coffee ritual has become the highlight of my day….something that I look forward to every morning. Truly blessed to have such a sincere relationship.
Like any building, our relationships are also built by first laying a strong foundation and then constructing on brick by brick. No matter how long-standing or personal our relationships are, they don’t remain static or stable all the time but have their ups and downs. It is up to us to hold on to relationships that are important to us. Keep in mind, it’s an active process, like watering and tending to a plant. If not tended to, our relationship can turn stale, wilt and ultimately die out.
The author Dr Sabeen Akbar Yezdani is a mother of three, a lecturer by profession but still a student of life.