I was 24 when I got married in August 2012. After getting married I got to know a few things, because the abuse started from there. I thought if I’d tell people my marriage would fall apart, people would give opinions and ask me not to continue with it. When you’re in love you keeping making excuses in your head, and you keep giving them umpteenth chances and ultimately realize there’s a limit to it. I was in the problem for 5 years, yet I didn’t tell anyone about it. Not even my best friend or my parents. Nobody knew what I was going through. I was pregnant when I found out he was cheating on me. I confronted him and he said he’d leave her but after that things got worse and he said I’d leave you but not her.
I think my father got the vibe that there’s something wrong between us, because I wasn’t visiting them, calling them and I was really unwell. That is when he called me home and probed me to tell him the issue, and I eventually opened up and told him my husband wants to leave me, and that is exactly what happened, he left me. I was expected to do everything even when I was 7 months pregnant where as he was jobless. We feel it’s our responsibility to look after each other during hard times but doesn’t mean the other person starts taking everything for granted.
When we were in the process of getting divorced people around me suggested me to give my daughter to him, but the truth is she’s the one who helped me come out of that situation. Now when I think of going back home, I know she’d be there. My parents support has been immense. I am working full time, and my family look after her when I am not home. Our parents need to give us the confidence, because despite having a stable income and bright future I thought my parents would blame me for everything. I thought people would blame me because I was working.
Girls should have immense confidence in themselves. They should be able to stand for themselves during tough times. They should have a degree. If you’re married then study after getting married, study privately,but do something. Have a part time job. Had I needed the support from my family I wouldn’t have been able to take the plunge.