What is empathetic listening? How can it be used to help people in distress and improve our relationships?
empathetic listening is an excellent skill for providing support to people in distress and for improving relationships. Talking about problems is one of the most effective ways of coping with distress. empathetic listening helps sufferers talk about their problems and deal with the unpleasant emotions inside of them. By learning to listen compassionately, we can also become better at communicating with people and improve our relationships.
The following qualities and skills are required to be a good compassionate listener:
- Compassion is the desire to ease the suffering of another. To be compassionate means to have a non-judgmental attitude towards the speaker regardless of however immoral their actions may seem to us. Passing judgement on sufferers or criticizing them may prevent them from opening up defeating the purpose of empathetic listening.
- Empathy is the act of trying to understand the experience of another. Empathy is an active process and requires the empathizer to put themselves in the sufferer’s shoes. Empathy should not be confused with sympathy, which involves feeling pity for the sufferer. Sympathy often puts the sufferer on a lower level than the sympathizer, which can create unpleasant feelings for the sufferer. Empathy, on the other hand, puts the sufferer on the same level as the empathizer, and the problems of the sufferers are seen just as if the empathizer is experiencing them themselves. Adopting an empathetic approach prevents us from decreasing the significance of sufferer’s problems, however petty they may seem to us.
- Attentive listening involves the listener giving their full and undivided attention to the speaker, without interrupting them or giving them unnecessary advice. It is very difficult for people to open up about their problems and the slightest hint of disinterest from their listener may prevent them from doing so. This is why letting go of any distractions (putting your mobile phones etc. away, stopping any other work) is very important. Maintaining appropriate eye contact, facial expressions and posture is also important to demonstrate you are listening attentively.