Failure – we all come in contact with it. And more often than not, we apprehend even entertaining the idea of failing. Failure is considered an erroneous disease in our society and we try to prevent from it as much as possible. It seems exotic to hear about someone who is probably romanticizing the idea of failure. As a society, we see failure to be detrimental to our success.
At a young age, we are taught to avoid failure and to embrace success. In school, we aim to get A’s. We avoid getting an ‘F’ like the plague because that would mean we failed and everyone will blame us for the loss. As a matter of fact, in the letter grading system, F is the only letter grade which corresponds to the first letter of what it stands for: failure. The word ‘failure’ in itself is bombarded with stigmatization and perfidiously empowering perceptions that we hear from everyone around us in our day to day conversations. The abhor and wraith that we perceive just of listening or seeing someone getting failed prompt us to do whatever we can do in order to prevent a situation where failure is knocking our door.
In a subtle way, the idea that failure is destructive becomes embedded in our mind we try to avoid this negative feeling that is generated when the outcome of something is failure. It is very important to understand that it’s not the failure in itself that is deleterious rather it is a particular negative emotion which instigates distress, guilt, remorse and cognitive dissonance out of it. If we try to delve into this entire notion of how failure works and what it brings and how we can mold ourselves to the other side of picture, it can greatly help us to overcome the burden of failure. In a mutually collaborative society where one’s success or failure is highly dependent upon the happiness or anxiety of the people around, outgrows expectations. We all struggle hard to come up to the expectations of the people whom we care and are certain that they will be affected by our failure.
An illustrious psychologist, Daniel Kahneman explains why we are so reluctant to failure. He found that the negative impact a loss brings on the table is much greater than the impact of success. Thus, it explain our hackneyed behavior of avoiding loss at greater lengths.
If we take into regard the findings mentioned above by the psychologist and topple the entire definition of failure by diminishing the preconceived notions attached to it then what will be the outcome? Hopefully, the outcome won’t be that drastic. If we begin perceiving failure as a siphoned path which adds more points to the experiential road-track of one’s life, the failure will be as prolific as success. We must try to consider it as a milestone and a learning experience to a more reformed path in which one has realized that failure is inevitable and it brings a better version of ourselves every time we fail. Hence, this quotation beautifully concludes the significance of failure as the other face of gain by saying that success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
The author Zainab Shabbir is a survivor herself and a passionate mental health advocate. She wishes to start support groups in Pakistan where sufferers can open up and seek peer support.