Have you ever imagined who has determined gender roles? Who has defined masculinity or feminism? They are just a set of attributes or characteristics, behaviour and roles generally associated with boys and girls. This concept of feminism and masculinity is rooted in one’s socially more rather than biologically. If we delve into the nitty-gritty of these roles and their dynamics, you will realize that they are more of socially constructed than the biological outgiving. It is the society who decides what being masculine or feminine means. Even if I reminiscent my primary school days, I remember that male is opposite of female in every ‘word-Opposite” exercise that I did. It’s not that I nullify this definition hitherto but it is more like, I understood that it’s literally not the opposite but are counterpart of each other. Both of them are the composure of society’s expectations and conditioned positive self-regard. For instance, the man is supposed to be dominant, brave, passive, muscular and independent while a woman is supposed to be opposite of these traits in terms of physical, psychological or intellectual characteristics. Contrastingly, a woman is considered to be an introvert, emotional, shy and dependent. However, it is a matter of how they are brought up and socialized.
There are day to day obstructions associated with both genders either if it’s socio-cultural, intellectual or physical faculties. The inquisitive question that stroked my thought processing is that who had made these parameters on men and women experiences differently. Who has demarcated a strict boundary of certain socio-cultural, intellectual and emotional capacity of a woman and man except of their genuine biological differences? There is one answer to it, “Social Construct”. I do agree with this nuance that social construct is important to build certain criterion for the masses to conform to in order to avoid chaos and commotion in society. On the other side, it should not have to hold a ruling power over an individual’s choice of embracing certain attributes regardless of gender. Let’s say; a man can have a liberty to be explicit of his emotional experiences and if he found solace in crying then it should not be a matter of gender role that would hamper him to express his emotion. It must not be the job of society to take over an individual’s mental or emotional health based on a socially constructed gender role.
There are 6 universal emotions: disgust, sadness, happiness, fear, anger, surprise. And we as humans not as simply men or women must have a right to access these emotions when in need because they help us to provide a genuine outlet of expression. I have been grown up hearing words like, “Mard ban Mard” whenever my brother got an injury or a fracture. He really wanted to cry but our acquaintances uplifted his spirits by saying that you are a man and a man doesn’t cry; it’s a feminine attribute. At that time, I can see from his eyes that he desperately wanted to feel the pain and scream over it but he suppressed that emotion just because the significant others’ around him has perceived a brawny image of him. So, this is where the society is being intrusive into our personal choices and experiences.
Thus, when there is a greater dispersion in gender roles and their predetermined identity by nature, there comes a role of stigma and it is impacting our lives in subtlety and we are conforming to it effortlessly. There is a dire need to understand that gender role is not associated with gender in particular rather it is a reflection of one’s nurture. Numerous anthropocentric researches have proved that different societies outgrow different societal norms and gender roles are constructed out of it. Men have been physically dominant than woman by nature but the nature has not made as such of differences in cerebral capacity. These are the stigmas which are restricting both gender to exercise their potential to the fullest. So instead of sticking abruptly to the societal notions of feminism and masculinity we all should try to look at them in a divergent manner so that it doesn’t restrict someone’s action, dreams and creativity and we can hope for a better change in our society in upcoming years.
The author Zainab Shabbir is a survivor herself and a passionate mental health advocate. She wishes to start support groups in Pakistan where sufferers can open up and seek peer support.