Running your own company or more so a startup can take an emotional toll on a person. Yes, the startup is a new buzz word you hear everywhere and entrepreneurs are the new rockstars of this day and age. But like everything else only the successes are celebrated not the failures, risks, hard work, dedication and grit one goes for, takes a plunge and still comes out alive on the other side. I am 37 married and got two awesome kids and yes you are right running my own startup, so far, I had my highs and lows but I am getting hold of it. In the eyes of the world, I am a successful entrepreneur who had an exceptional corporate career, incubated in international accelerator programs, traveled the world and invited at Ivy League universities to give talks.
That being said during my school days I was quite skinny and I am talking about the ’90s when we had no internet. I was bullied all through my school life and have been called names which made me lose my self-confidence and also affected my performance in my studies. Somehow with average marks, I made it through my academic years and slowly progressed in landing myself a job in the corporate sector. But whenever people, friends, colleagues or even my family use to mock or tease me I use to get a shiver down my spine and could not respond back. I assure you I can respond back physically to every comment, having a height of 6’2 it’s quite easy for me to do so, but I never did. I felt like being cornered into a small corner like an 11-year-old kid I use to be getting bullied by my school mates, that feeling always overpowered the adult me.
The social setting in our country and being an alpha male stopped me from getting help or talking to anyone because as a man we don’t visit or address our emotions. We are strong and not sensitive. Though times changed and I had access to the internet and visited few sites to read about bullying and how it affects an individual, later a close friend who was visiting a therapist explained to me that every time someone calls me names or makes fun of me, the feeling I get is the same I experienced the very first time I was bullied, hence I go silent or have to leave that space.
Once I understood the concept it made easier for me to cope with it, I started voicing out about it to people and if they didn’t stop, I made it clear not to meet them again. I have learned that you don’t need negativity in your life and usually, it is associated with people surrounding you. Change that and focus on your work, family, and positives in life.
My advice to all that are reading is to STOP mocking and making fun of people, you can not be sure what that person has gone through in past and how your words are impacting them. More importantly, teach your kids about what bullying is and why it is so wrong. I do the same and if more voices are heard then more people will talk about it, which will help us in solving it rather keep ignoring it.
I did come out of it through support and questioning my feelings but many don’t even know why they are feeling the way they are, we can help and we should.