The journey of healing from any mental illness is a long and tough one but what’s more hard is not understanding your problem and consequently being unable to treat it.
This is the story of a person who is considered to be the strongest and the most optimistic one. It is hard to break down when people look up to you as a source of strength, you know that there are some struggling ones who are leaning on you for support whom you can’t abandon.
But the tougher part is growing up in an environment where mental illness like depression and anxiety are genetic. You can for once find an escape from your problems outside the home, but if the roots are within your own family, there is no way out. You wake up to such scenes which are emotionally draining and you sleep holding them inside. You need to step-out with a positive demeanor but you know you’ll be coming back to the same pain.
They say home is where your heart is, but when your home has been a story of various traumatic incidents, you fail to find a home within anything else.
I have struggled to deal with my anxiety and palpitations this year which were triggered due to my household and childhood traumas. This year made us face our fears which we had buried somewhere deep inside. I recognized it earlier but wasn’t courageous enough to accept it, although later as my physical health started deteriorating, I understood the fact.
To anyone who has grown in such an environment is most likely to be affected with any mental illness but its hard to accept it when the world admires you as someone mentally fittest.
Acceptance plays a big role in your journey so to everyone who runs away from their identity, don’t do that because you cant. You can only deal with any illness once you accept and affirm with it. And to those who have been living in such a family, it’s a very hard truth but you need to fix yourself in order to not be one of them.
I can say it more confidently that having a mental illness doesn’t anyway proves that you can’t be someone to look up to.
The ones who are the strongest are those who have been through worse so remember that when you are near to giving up. So accept it, deal with it and heal yourself for Your Own Self.
From the pen of a caregiver